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Faux Lashes: The Secret to Putting Them On Successfully*

I am pretty good at all things makeup. But I can't manage to apply false lashes. I am hoping one of you can tell me the secret to applying them because I don't know. I don't have insider info from a company on how to do it. No makeup artist has come to my aid to save me from my sad little lashes. I have watched the tutorials and still am all thumbs. False lashes are my cosmetic kryptonite.

(My Dad's brother, his wife and the moose that used to ask for pancakes**. It's like that in Alaska.)

It's not like it runs in my family, like not being able to tell my left from my right. My Dad and his brother could never tell their right hand from their left and I can't either. Anyone who has ever driven with me knows how I have to give or get directions. It's not normal, but at least there is an explanation for it.

(This is actually my Aunt. She was just as fashionable as my Mom, but I have a picture of her dressed for work. Plus my Mom would skin me and send my hide to Haiti if I posted a picture of her.)

I know for a fact that my Mom wore faux lashes when she worked for Bell Labs. She wore them everyday, probably inspired by Twiggy and was all fashion-forward. Meanwhile, I sit at my desk, waiting for a snowplow to clear my street, wearing a hoodie and wishing I had knock-your-socks-off lashes. I do know that once, one of her lashes fell off when she was delivering a stack of papers to her boss, and she was mortified.*** But for the most part, she wore them every day without incident. So if she can do it, why can't I?



I bought the kit from Sephora that comes with the lash tweezer things that look like it would be as simple as putting the curved doo-hickey against your lashline and voila! It's not. At least it isn't for me. I have tried using the strip of lashes and it's a no-go. I have tried the individual lashes and they turn upside down as they dry. I don't use a lot of glue, I just try to use a tiny amount. I don't know. I can't do it.

So I ask, dear readers, do you know the secret? Can you clue me in? I sure as shorts don't know the answer.

Update! Phyrra had commented with how she applies her lashes (and her always look great!). So I tried her way. I ended up trimming my lashes so they were not as long. I found a lovely brush from a Wet and Wild gel liner (not a bad liner, btw). I got out an index card and applied the glue. While it is closer than ever before, here is how it looked. I think I still need practice.




* Innocente'! I have no clue. I hope you can tell me.
** True story. The moose used to stick its head in and beg.
*** If you don't leave a comment, Mom, I know you are b.s.-ing me about reading my blog.


I bought those lashes from Sephora.
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