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Makeup That Didn't Like Me

I love makeup, in case you hadn't noticed. I love to explore its possibilities, find new products that no one knows about and revisit old favorites. But sometimes makeup doesn't love me back. Perhaps what I got was expired, bad mojo or just plain bad. Here are a few recent products that I wanted to fall for, but that didn't want my love.


Too Faced Metal Eyes Eye Liner: I picked up the color Dirt Bag at Sephora and was very excited to try it out. The color was totally unique, the glitter looked amazing and I ready to fall in love with this line I knew nothing about. However, I should have paid attention. When I went to check out, the product wouldn't scan. After getting another scanner-doo-hickey to work, the cash register wouldn't accept my debit card. In the past, that might have been a problem, but I knew I was flush (with at least $20), which would cover the cost of the eyeliner. Debit card accepted, but then the pin pad didn't work. After we changed registers (and many apologies from Sephora) and the purchase was finally mine, I raced to the car to try it on. While looking in the rear view mirror at the awesome color, the eyeliner started to burn my eyelids a little. I figured I was tired and something else had gotten in my eye, so I let it go. The next morning, I used it again and IT REALLY HURT. It hurt so much I had to wash my eyelids (and face) and start again, making me late for work. I think the Universe was trying to tell me something. (Or I have an adverse reaction to something in this liner that isn't in other liners.) I should have paid attention.



Lip Fusion Lip Plumper: I went to Ulta one day to see if rumors were true and that Bare Escentuals Buxom in Sugar was finally available as a single gloss. It wasn't (not at that time, anyway). But the handy sales associate said I should check out an even better lip gloss (better than Buxom Sugar? As if.) and asked me to try Lip Fusions XL Plumper. When I point blank told her she wasn't about to up-sell me from $18 to $50 FOR LIP GLOSS, she dared me to try it. I did. IT REALLY HURT. I wiped it off after about 30 seconds (I wanted to be fair and give it a try) but it still hurt. Honestly, I think it was months before I even looked at another lip plumper and considered cheating on my Buxom again. Lip Fusion lip plumper shall hereby be known as El Diablo in my book. I am all for suffering for beauty and not getting double chocolate chips on my Pink Berry, but I draw the line at Lip Fusion. That said, one of my girlfriends swears by this plumper.


Cover Girl Lash Blast Mascara: Everyone seems to love this mascara. In fact, it tested so well in the States that Cover Girl is releasing it in China. I suspect the ladies in Xiangi will have the same problem I had. The brush is so big, it dwarfs the actual size of my lashes. In other words, this brush is so thick, my lashes aren't long enough to handle it. Instead, I get mascara all over the rims of my eyes. For me, it's like trying to put on mascara with a wet mop sponge. Way too big to get the job done. Even with my amazing results from Talika, I still can't use it. Kudos to you if you can, I hear it's great. This mascara was not meant for me.

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